i posted something yesterday that currently has been viewed over 500 times, which is more friends than i have on facebook, so thats fine. and here i am posting again. sorry. kind of. i just have a lot to say and a platform now to share it. so here’s another, less problematic, post i guess. nothing nearly as well written though as its just thoughts from today, so take it as you will.
today i want to talk about and possibly open up a discussion on what exactly it is to be an “adult” and what it is that makes you one. is it simply turning 18 and being able to go to the gas station and buy a lighter and a lottery ticket along with your twix bar and red bull? is it moving out on your own and having to somehow sustain life without anyone else to make sure you’ve eaten that day and have done your laundry at least once in the past three weeks? all i know for sure though is that even at 19 years old with a seemingly sound head on my shoulders and with enough “adult” experiences to last a lifetime, i still don’t think of myself as more than a tall and articulate toddler.
though i am someone who finds it extremely difficult to ask for help or even accept help from others (which honestly is a whole separate problem, but thats beside the point), i can’t imagine not being in a place where i constantly have people helping me get by, if that makes any sense. like, i did the whole turning 18 and becoming an adult in the legal sense, but that did nothing in making me feel like someone who has answers and knows how to play this crazy game of “life” that we’re all stuck in, so i still need help.
i assume growing up is something that varies from person to person though because i can look around at people i graduated with just one short year ago and i see them as people who genuinely know what they’re doing, or at least have a good enough idea of it to make it look like they do, but i also see people who are more dependent on others than me to round off the other side of the spectrum.
i guess the biggest question i have though is, do you ever truly “grow up”? do you ever get to a point in which you feel like you have a good hold on how to get by? i know i’ll never be able to say i know exactly what’s going on, because no one ever does, but do you ever get to a point where you feel like you know enough?
this was just a lot of rambling and putting what i’ve been thinking about all day into words more than anything else, so if you made it to the end, hope you enjoyed this mess. i did say at the start of this blogging thing that this was more or less just my diary, so essentially you signed up for this. i don’t have a picture to add to go with this post specifically, so here’s a picture of me turning in a blank ap biology test senior year. at least i kind of grew from that?